Dating a professor in grad school
The most popular approach is to ban relationships between professors and the students they supervise. If you find that you are a trophy for a professor you are dating, you should question whether you really want to be with someone who cares about you because you are a boost to their ego.
There is no need to categorically rule out a relationship with your professor. This can lead to self-doubt. Since then, many universities have begun to address student-professor dating. It is difficult to have an equal relationship when one party has so much more power your grades. This is the direct result of a former instructor writing an embarrassing article about his affair with a student.
Nationally, universities have taken different approaches to the problem of professor-student relationships. Some women go out of their way to avoid both a professor who is an ex-boyfriend and in their department in general. Students that date professors can come under suspicion of sexual harassment as well. It is a commonly held belief that everyone is considered an adult at the college level and should know where to draw the line. If your relationship is secret, someone could still find out and again question the validity of your grades.
Some relationships between professors and students fizzle when you leave the classroom environment. Faculty members are also required to inform their supervisor if they are having a relationship with a student.
University fraternization rules are sometimes vague. This may not be the case, but that might be what it looks like. Keep in mind the reasons you are attending college.
At the College of William and Mary in Virginia, all dating between professors and undergraduates was banned. It turns up regularly in film and literature. For most educators, there is an unwritten rule that getting involved with students is a bad idea. Attitudes began to change in the s and s, with the rise of feminism and an increasing number of female scholars in academia.
Because of the personal relationship you have with the professor, you may be unsure of their bias and of your true academic performance. Once the semester ends and the taboo is gone, that attraction may disappear. By dating a student, the professor is vulnerable to charges of harassment. If a relationship would develop, the professor is required to disclose it so that conflicts can be managed if they arise. Love is a hard thing to find and sometimes it begins in less than ideal situations.
While it is true that some students have been able to date their professors without any problems, this is the exception rather than the rule. This can cause feelings of alienation. What you originally found sexy and charismatic may seem horribly normal and bland outside of the classroom. This eliminates conflicts of interest but does not get involved in the personal lives of consenting adults. Generally, most students have no interest in dating one of their professors.
For most students, professors are authority figures who are considered off-limits sexually. It is usually suggested that no professor should date a student in his class.
If you are considering such a relationship, think carefully about your decision.
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